Sunday, June 24, 2012

1.1 It Takes 2 To Polli-Tango

The relative peaceful quiet of Barnacle Bay is split by the sudden fizzy hiss of teleportation slicing through the ozone.



Pollination Technician # 7 had arrived safely to his designated mission location. He was quite excited to begin. It was an honor to have been chosen for this auspicious undertaking (after Technicians 1-6 died in horrible teleportation-related accidents). Freshly arrived, Seven followed mission protocol by checking in with his superiors.



SEVEN - Pollination Technician Seven, checking in . . . um, h-hello? I-is this thing on?
SUPERIOR - Holy FRACK, he made it! Pay up bitches.
SEVEN - Uh . . . what?



SUPERIOR - *ahem!* Nothing, nothing. Congratulations on surviving your transport to Earth, yadda yadda. Your mission--should you choose to accept it--is to find an Earth Sim, pollinate, then return with the hybrid offspring for study. Until your goal is accomplished you must assimilate yourself into Earth culture, living and working among them in secret. Are you up to the challenge number Seven?
SEVEN - Yes sir!



SUPERIOR - Excellent. Your first goal should be acquiring a means of employment. While you're gone our engineers will provide you with a basic dwelling. It will be up to you to provide for yourself after that, understood?
SEVEN - Yep!
SUPERIOR - Good luck, number Seven. This message will now self destruct in five seconds . . .
SEVEN - . . . that was just a joke, right? Right? Hello? *explode*



Alrighty then, since you have a cheezy introduction to the plot, perhaps it's now time to more formally introduce you to our lovely green founder. This is Pollination Technician #7, or in Earth custom, Seven Pollination. His stats are as follows :

Traits : Genius, Eccentric, Computer Whiz, No Sense of Humor and Family Oriented
Likes : Cookies, Electronica music and the color Lime
Lifetime Wish : Make alien-Earth Sim hybrid babies and/or become a Creature-Robot Crossbreeder (kind've the same thing, right?)
He's also a Cancer. I wrote it down, so I'm sharing. Nyah.

Anyway, per his Superior's suggestion Seven hails down one of the public transportation vehicles to get a ride into the city.



Though this sim was the wrong gender for pollination, Seven didn't think it could hurt to make what his Earth Living Primers called 'small talk.'
SEVEN - Greetings, Earth Sim. Have you pollinated recently? Care to share some witty banter about it?
DRIVER - Just keep looking forward. Don't make eye-contact. Remember, it's all for college.
SEVEN - I don't think I follow . . .



Seven soon arrived at what would become his place of employment while on Earth. Their Science Facility. Their methodology was crude and child-like compared to his own species' superior scientific advancements, but Seven would have to endure it for the good of all. Which is why they probably gave him the job description of 'Test Subject,' after he so graciously shared his opinion during the interview process.

RANDOM GUY - Was . . . was that guy green? Have I been hittin' the bubbles too hard?



Seven wouldn't begin work until the next day, so upon exiting he noticed his dumbfounded 'admirer.' Heartened by his luck--since this Earth Sim was of the correct gender for pollination--Seven hurried over to introduce himself.



SEVEN - Greetings Earth Sim! Might I interest you in some pollination?
RG - Uh . . . what?
*headdesk*



After explaining what a good round of 'pollination' meant, Seven was met with an unexpected (to him) reaction.

RG - DUDE! You don't just roll up on some random guy outta no where and ask to jump him! Man . . . now I know what the chicks at the bar feel like . . . I feel so dirty and objectified . . .where's my bubbles . . .



Seven was confused, to say the least. His Earth Living primers hadn't properly prepared him for this situation apparently. As Random Guy left in a huff to go find 'his bubbles,' Seven took out his communication device and set about observing Earth Sims in their native environment. With . . . varied results.

Crowd - Fooooouuuunttaaaaaaaiiiiiin. *starestarestarestare*
SEVEN - Perhaps water is needed for courtship displays? I'll have to do a more in-depth study.



Seven decided to call another public transportation vehicle to take him to the 'Park,' what his primers suggested as an excellent location to observe potential pollination subjects. This time his driver was of the right gender, but no more interested than the male outside the Science Facility.

SEVEN - Would you care to pollinate?
DRIVER - I just drive the cab, buddy.



Seven arrived at the park in due time. Now for some observation!



SEVEN - Hmm, he is of acceptable age for pollination, but it appears he already has offspring. This would not be optimal for my experiements.



SEVEN - One is well beyond the age of pollination, and the other is too young . . .



Finally our picky alien spots a potential mate. Unfortunately for our picky alien, he has about the same amount of luck as he's had all day.

OTHER RANDOM GUY - *epic eyebrow lift* Tell me this green freak isn't talking to me . . .
SEVEN - Um . . . pollination . . . plz? :c
RANDOM GIRL - *staaaaare*



ORG - Oh, gross! I don't swing that way Asparagus.
SEVEN - D:
RG - Ooo, I'd pay to see some of that action. *creepy person person plus*



SEVEN - This pollination business was so much easier when we used to abduct them from the telescope. >:[

It seems our plucky green technician is starting to feel the stress of his (epic) failures. Perhaps it's best if you just went on home and tried again tomorrow after work . . .



Following my advice (since I control him like a puppet mwhahahaha), Seven returns to home base to find that the engineers have done their work. He is greeted by a facade of nuclear family living, so cleverly designed that only the cleverist of sims might suspect it's treachery . . .



It was, of course, only a facade. His true living quarters were underground, for various security purposes. I hope you all like the color green. Because you'll be seeing a lot of it this generation. XD



Somewhat deflated from his series of embarrassing failures, Seven morosely fixes himself a bowl of liquid nutrients . . .



Steps into the cleansing chamber to remove the dirt, germs and micro-organisms he'd collected . . .



And retired to his rejuvination chamber for the required amount of REM sleep, in stylish jammies that match his blankets. :D



The next morning the mail lady decided to add some icing onto Seven's Crappy Day Cake.

MAIL LADY - AURGH! Take THAT you green-skinned freak! *throws mail on the ground*



SEVEN - That's odd . . . I thought the paper notifications were supposed to go in the box?
Poor guy. :(



After his first day of 'work' being subjected to all sorts of non-FDA-approved drug testing, Seven decided to expand his social base and meet the neighbors. This took him to the doorstep of the Inkbeard family. He's still got pollination on the brain, however, as you can see by his illustrative thought-bubble.

SEVEN - If I don't get a hybrid child planted soon, my Superior is going to get very cranky . . .



Seven is met at the door by Victoria Inkbeard.

SEVEN - Greetings Earth Sim! I am your new neighbor, Seven Pollination! I've come to socialize with you and your family in your own dwelling to hopefully better understand Earth Sim interractions.
VICTORIA - *obliviously shakes hand* You are very green.
Everyone is very hung up on him being green.



Despite Seven's less than sane greeting, Victoria invites him inside and briefly introduces him to the rest of the clan that's present. As you can see Eleanor Goldbeard (pink sweater), who is a nemesis of every member of the Inkbeard family, was also present for some reason. That made for some interesting backround noise, lemme tell ya. XD

Seven observed the family, and after a moment he was approached by one in particular. Victoria's grandson, Bart Inkbeard.

BART - Hey, your skin is green.
SEVEN - Yah, I get that a lot. -_-
BART - I think it's pretty cool. Was it some kind of weird crazy science experiment gone wrong?!

While taken aback by Bart's somewhat unhealthy excitement at the possibility of a chemical test gone awry, Seven was nonetheless heartened by the first Earth Sim to actively seek out his company and not shy in the other direction. Or outright insult and then shun him. And meanwhile Eleanor Goldbeard stares on in stark hatred and frank disapproval while Shorty-John has a mild freak-out just off camera. XD



SEVEN - While your immediate conclusion is humorous and imaginative, it is also sadly false. My skin color is not the result of a scientific mishap or chemical reaction. I was born this way.
ELEANOR - Hmph! Disgraceful!
SHORTY-JOHN - *INTENSE STARE OF INSANITY*



BART - Oh . . . so you're an alien, then? From a different planet?
ELEANOR - I HATE YOU ALLLLL!
AEISHA - Then go home, you old hag.



Too late, Seven remembered that he was supposed to be here incognito. It was against mission perameters to reveal his true identity.

SEVEN - Ah . . ahahaha . . . um . . . your house is nice! *poker face*

Real smooth, Seven. Real smooth.



Seven found himself strangely drawn to this particular Earth Sim, and it wasn't just because Bart was the first to accept his awkward and socially inept attempts at conversation. Too bad he was still a teenager, and therefore not viable for pollination. Seven would just have to move on to another candidate, but at least he'd have a friend while he stayed on Earth.

Except, for some strange reason, the thought of completing his mission just didn't seem to have the same amount of excitement as it did before . . . .


_________________________________

First installment complete! Woo! Hope you enjoyed the craziness. I can't guarantee when the updates will happen, just that they will, so stick around. Comment if you'd like, I love feedback. :D

STATS!

Generations - 1
LTWs Complete - 0
Portraits - 0
100,000 Simoleons Earned - 0
100,000 Aspiration Points Earned - 0
Skill Challenges Complete - 0

Total = 1 Point(s)



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