Sunday, June 24, 2012

1.2 Mating Rituals, Confusing or Wonderful? Confunderful?

Technician #7 soldiered on with his mission for the next day or two, even though his hearts didn't seem to be in it anymore. He continued to have the same amount of lack of success as he'd been having and no hybrid offspring to show for his efforts. One day after work, though, he received a call from his only friend, Bart Inkbeard. Strangely excited to hear from this particular Earth Sim, Seven easily agreed to meet at the local public food distribution center--otherwise known as a 'Bistro.' Once he arrived, however, he was in for a bit of a shock.

'MYSTERY' SIM - Hey Sev! Long time no see!
SEVEN - . . . We've met?



BART - *laugh* It's me, Seven. Bart Inkbeard. I recently had my birthday.
SEVEN - *is stunned* Wow, you got big, *moment of delayed reaction* EUREKA! You're of acceptable age for pollination now! I am excite! :D
BART - I really have no idea what that means, but I'll just smile and go along with it.
*headdesk*



The two caught up on what had been happening in their lives since they'd been apart. Bart shared that he'd just gotten a job at the Bistro, in the hopes of one day becoming a Five Star Celebrity Chef. When he asked Seven how he was getting along, our pollination technician found himself launching into a bit of a tirade.

SEVEN - I've been quite disheartened, Bart. My employment at the Science Facility is progressing well enough--though personally I don't think it was necessary for me to test the bunsen burners with my bare hands . . . Despite my professional success, however, my primary goal eludes me!
BART - Which is?
SEVEN - Pollination! My only reason for being left on this tiny little planet, the single most important purpose of my existence and I am a complete and utter failure!
BART - . . . so you ARE from a different planet?
SEVEN - . . . this music that is playing is delightful! Is it Mozart? I love Mozart. *bad poker face*



*night-time falls like a sack of bricks*

BART - I think your biggest problem is coming on to complete strangers on the street, Seven. I'm not sure how they do it on your planet--,
SEVEN - I AM NOT AN ALIEN!
BART - --but here on Earth, you usually have to be in a relationship before someone will agree to jump in the sack. At least the ones that won't charge money or give out free-yet-unwanted diseases.
SEVEN - . . . relationship?
BART - Yah, you know. Two people seeing each other romantically, usually exclusively. Like a girlfriend or, you know, boyfriend. Whichever you prefer.

Relationship . . . it sounded like what his people called 'Mates.' A concept that suddenly didn't seem so farfetched, staring at Bart Inkbeard. In fact . . . it sounded strangely . . . perfect. As if it was meant to be.



Though in the middle of their mild flirtation, Seven and Bart--along with everyone else at the Bistro--were suddenly and simultaneously overcome with thoughts for the random townie who was apparently seconds away from passing out with exhaustion . . .

RANDOM TOWNIE - SLEEP IS FOR PANSIES!



Seven and Bart were forced to part company that night, as Seven had work early the next day. His thoughts were plagued with Bart the entire day, however. Leading to some rather embarrassing mishaps with the centerfuges. After work ended for the day, Seven knew what he had to do. He called Bart and asked to see him, and the latter invited him down to the beach house to 'hang out.' Seven went eagerly, even though visions of being hung up on metal hooks outside danced through his overactive imagination. Luckily there wasn't anything of the sort when he arrived. Just Bart. Wonderful, handsome, can't-stop-thinking-about-him-Bart.

It was official. Seven had imprinted on this Earth Sim somehow. And now he wanted--needed--to have him for a mate.

BART - What's up, Sev?
SEVEN - *He's gonna touch me! Squee!*



SEVEN - Can I ask him now? Can I? Can I? Can I?
*sigh* Yes, Seven. You can ask him now. *eye roll*



SEVEN - Bart Inkbeard, I must now confess that I find you particularly pleasing to both my primal urgings and my higher-level brain functions.
BART - That's . . . nice?
*headdesk*



Try that again in Earth-Speak, genius.
SEVEN - Um . . . wh-what I meant to say was, uh . . . I lub u? <3?



And Bart finally takes pity on our poor socially inept I'm not an alien. They're so adorable, I swear. XD



After a few minutes of tonsil honkey, Bart excuses himself to the bathroom. Seven, inept as he is, does not quite grasp the concept of 'privacy' or 'taking things slow.'

SEVEN - Oh! There you are! I was wondering where you went to all of a sudden.
BART - Um, to pee? And it's . . . generally something I like to do alone, just fyi.



Subtlety does not work with this creature, Bart. Best to tell you that right now . . .

SEVEN - *totally not taking the hint* I'm glad I caught you, because there's something I need to ask you.



BART - Seven, what are you . . . I was trying to GO TO THE BATHROOM, babe . . . .
SEVEN - *tee-hee*



SEVEN - Bart Inkbeard, I want to be your mate for life! Please say that you will accept me in this role! *shoves ring in face*
BART - Oh . . . wow.



BART - No, Seven. Just . . . wow. That was adorable and hilarious, but no.
SEVEN - No? Why not? :C



BART - We just started dating ten minutes ago and then you proposed to me IN A BATHROOM, Seven. There are several things wrong with this scenario, but frankly I don't even know where to begin.
SEVEN - </3 But I lub u . . . *slump of defeat*



BART - Aww. I love you too, babe. But why don't we give it a few days at least before we go thinking about permenant attachments like marriage. And also, just a suggestion, maybe try to come up with a better place than a public toilet to ask me, kay?



SEVEN - Challenge accepted.



Seven went home afterwards, but Bart was never far from his thoughts, even in REM sleep.



Seven was willing to give Bart the few days he'd asked for, but he was by no means disuaded from his goal. He set himself to the task of sweeping his chosen mate off his feet with the one-track-mind dedication that only the truely socially cursed can achieve.

SEVEN - What nonsense is this? Men are not from Mars, and neither are women from Venus. Neither of those planets can support life! The standards of literature on this planet are atrocious . . . .



Finally the weekend arrived. Free from work, Seven invited his dual-heart's desire to the beach. His studies had revealed that this was a prime location for romance. Hopefully this and the time that had passed would make his second attempt at securing Bart for a lifelong mate more successful than the first crash and burn.

And look who it is now! . . . uh, Bart? Can you . . . try to look happy please?
BART - This IS my happy face.
O . . . kay.



Seven was quick and eager to greet his chosen one.

BART - Hi Sev--mrmph!



Near-by, Bart's grandpa Shorty-John lends his 'support' to the couple.

SHORTY-JOHN - BAAWWWWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! My grandson's kissin' a greeeeeen duuuuuuude! *knee slap*
Wow . . . way to be accepting of alternative cultures and lifestyles there, gramps. *thumbs up*



Refusing to be deterred, Seven ignored the less than supportive future in-laws and focused all of his attention and energy on wooing his mate. A dozen red roses . . . .



Holding hands . . . .



A caress and a few heartfelt compliments. I want to imagine him being suave and sexy, but then I have to accept the fact that he's probably comparing Bart's brown eyes to the awe-inspiring and  mystifying depths of a devouring black hole in the far-reaches of cold black space. Bart likes it though, so I guess that's all that really matters. XD



Finally, Seven felt that he'd properly prepared for round 2. The moment of truth . . . .



BART - OMG Shineyyyy!



And this time Bart was satisfied, and ready to commit. (PHEW!)





With evening fast approaching the two decided to seal the deal right then and there, in true Legacy fashion. Come along for the journey as Bart Inkbeard officially becomes Bart Pollination, spouse of Generation 1. *puts on wedding montage music*









Simultaneous love-sighs! Everybody say it with me . . . D'AWWWWWW!



Now that he's officially part of the family, Bart's stats are as follows ;

Traits - Athletic, Natural Cook, Hot-Headed, Mean-Spirited and Frugal
Likes - Cookies, Indie music and the color Green. And he's a Virgo.
Lifetime Wish - Become 5-Star Celebrity Chef
Same favorite food, same (general) favorite color and compatible signs. These two really were made for each other. ^ ^

Bart also brought a couple thousand simoleons to the household, so the homestead gets some upgrades. Namely a couch and T.V., since Bart loves him some cooking shows.



Bart has his first look at his new home.

BART - Woooow . . . my not an alien husband lives in a a green, underground bunker . . . why am I surprised?
Pfft, don't look at me.



Still, it was their wedding/mating night and these two had far more important things to worry about.



SEVEN - Pollination timez nao plz? C:
BART - Yep. 'Pollination' time now.



SEVEN - *glomp tackle*









*throws confetti* Yay! Success! Pollination complete! The two lovebirds drift off to dream in their respective REM states, blissfully unaware that their two definitions of 'pollination' varied drastically . . . .


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Installment 2 is . . . COMPLETE! Woot! Hope you enjoyed. Stats didn't change, so I won't bother re-posting. As always, comment if the mood strikes you. I <3 feedback.

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